Findom Addicts Anonymous is a fellowship of addicts united in a common focus: helping each other in our recovery from our findom addiction.
F.A.A. is (like other fellowships) not affiliated with any organisation.
F.A.A.’s traditions state that we have no opinion on matters outside of F.A.A. This includes that we do not oppose the findom kink and that we have no opinion on any person or manner of engaging in it.
A short history
F.A.A.’s story starts with Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (S.L.A.A.). S.L.A.A. was founded in 1976 by a member of Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) who discovered, though the A.A. program had helped them, their compulsive sexual and romantic behaviors were an addiction in and of itself.
Similarly, findom addiction has a highly specific acting out pattern (to act out is to engage in addictive patterns) that impedes connecting fully with the S.L.A.A. community. Especially early on in recovery – as we are more prone to look for differences rather than similarities – S.L.A.A. is often unappealing to findom addicts. Feeling heard means to feel understood, and findom has many specific characteristics to understand.
And so, in 2022 a member of S.L.A.A. founded F.A.A. to bring people together who can understand each other’s stories.
F.A.A. is here to be a ‘fit’ that findom addicts miss in other -Anonymous programs (such as AA, NA, SAA, SLAA etc.). In F.A.A. we feel safe to share our experiences because they are met with more understanding.
Bottom lines [1] for recovering addicts in F.A.A. are defined by the addicts themselves but require that “spending money in any form of findom activity” is part of the bottom line.
As F.A.A. is in its infancy it incorporates many of the Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
(S.L.A.A.) principles because of the overlap with respect to toxic relationships and lust.
Start a F.A.A. meeting
Like very Anonymous recovery fellowship, F.A.A. has no owner and is not governed in any way. You are not just free to start your own F.A.A. meeting, we encourage it.
There is a manner in which to do so that will best benefit the addicts still suffering. One requirement is that two people joining to form a F.A.A. group have no other affiliation than their common affliction.
We are still working on providing guidelines and instructions for this. Please check back here soon. Thank you for your patience.
F.A.A. and safety
Anonymous fellowships typically hold closed meetings. That is to say that these are open to only and all those who believe they may have the problem that the fellowship offer support with.
There have been countless initiatives, by finsubs who want to recover, to form groups. And these will have helped many. F.A.A. has no opinion on how such groups should form or operate.
We in F.A.A. find safety to be so crucial as to require personal contact before a newcomer attends a meeting. The nature of findom (frequently linked to kinks like blackmail and homewrecking) adds to this. Other recovery group types offer a “click to join” type of membership. F.A.A. feels this would expose members too easily to outside dangers. ‘Infiltration’ of such groups unfortunately is not uncommon, as members of F.A.A. have experienced and even taken part in.
An ‘old fashioned’ physical fellowship meeting is personal and makes us vulnerable in a way virtual meetings don’t. We have found that the lower the barrier to attend, the less safe the meeting is. At the same time, F.A.A. is still open to all who desire to stop engaging in findom.
Since we don’t have the implicit safety level of physical meetings the next best option is personal contact prior to attending the virtual meeting. Most newcomers find this less daunting than stepping into a meeting right away, it also helps to build trust and shows commitment.
Read about how this works for Newcomers in the Newcomer section.
[1] Bottom line: the behaviours that we regard as a relapse into addiction.
Findom Addicts Anonymous 